Pettiest reason for losing weight: I was fat when I got married

I was fat when I got married. I put on more weight after my marriage.

I was the fat spouse of the fit husband. He automatically became more attractive to everyone just because I have a couple of extra kilos. It is completely okay for the guy to have those same extra kilos, but the moment it is the girl, it becomes a point-to-be-stated. Yes, she's the bride, she's the fat one.

I was the FAT daughter-in-law and the YOUNGER and FAT sister-in-law. My MIL and SIL are short. They are appropriate weight for their height. I come in as the youngest member of the family. Tall and fat. Making them feel so good about their bodies. It started with an elephant joke at the dinner table(cracked by my obese FIL-like I said, only the women being fat is a problem apparently). I left the table crying and luckily everyone got the message. Fat jokes were never made about me ever again.

There is stigma. I am hurt every time my MIL or SIL make a reference to how skinny they are. How little cloth they would need for tailoring clothes because they are thin. Things like this just worked in conversations, making me feel like shit for being a giant. I get it. They have been doing this all their lives. If you have never been overweight, you don't know how much you are hurting the other person. So they are not saying it to hurt me. If I was skinny, I would be counted in during these sessions. But, I was not skinny and I felt so bad for shit like oh I need to buy more cloth? IDK.

I am done. I am done listening to this rubbish and feeling bad about it. I am doing this because somewhere deep down, I believe there is a truth to this. I don't want to feel like everyone thinks my hubby got a bad deal. I am doing something to get rid of the chip on my shoulder. I am losing the weight. I started in may and am already more than halfway there. I am 13kg down and 7kg to go. I am ALSO pulling in the style game slowly. I am wearing better fitted clothes and accessorizing carefully. I am grooming myself better.

I am going to be a star. Educated. Mature. Well dressed. Good looking. Fit. Determined. Confident. But I am not stupid. External validation is not my thing. Haters gonna hate. As long as I am convinced, I am happy.

I am one step closer each day. :)

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