I am addicted to food. It is starting to run my life. I am terrified. I hate myself. I can’t stop when I start eating or am around food. I previously would do okay for a few weeks then go on binges for whole weekends. Now it’s like every day, I binge. I don’t know what to do. It is making me hate myself. I used to love food but now I hate it. The idea of eating makes me sick and depressed but I do it anyway. I need help but I can’t afford it. I’m trying to get better but it only gets worse. I feel helpless and disgusted with myself. All I can think about is eating, how overweight I am, how disgusted my husband and family must be when they see me (even though they give me no cause to believe so. I guess I just project my disgust for myself. Idk) I’m embarrassed to be around friends who haven’t seen me for a while because they will know I’m out of control. I side-eye food when others are eating because everything in me wants to eat too. I just don’t know what to do.
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