So yeah i feel like i had a breakthrough today. I realised that my binge/overeating/intense cravings tendencies were primarily misguided attempts at aleviating anxiety.
I don't know about everyone else but i feel anxiety in my stomach, it's like a nervous simmering that radiates out from there and pumps panic all around my system the worse it gets.
The way I've been dealing with it up until now has been grabbing as much food as I can and eating until I'm out of food (I never ever feel full when I'm in this anxious state because I confuse that anxious pit-of-my-stomach feeling for complete emptiness and hunger.
Now that I recognise those feelings for what they really are i feel amazing. Don't get me wrong, i know my anxiety will always be there just like everyone elses but now i cope with it soooo much better. (What works best for me is drinking a litre of water when i feel it coming on and taking a magnesium vitamin - i know its probably just a placebo but i read that it helps and placebo or not it is helping. I also use meditation apps like headspace and practice deep breathing techniques if it gets really bad)
I've been doing CICO for 250 days according to MFP and have lost about 48 pounds and estimate I'll be at my GW by February (yey). This is the first break through that's been mentally a game changer for me.
I know my self better now and I forgive myself for reacting to those horrible feelings that way. I forgive myself completely for gaining weight and ignoring it for so long and feeling like it was impossible to be healthy, I was trapped in a vicious cycle that I'm finally free of and I have loseit and MFP and Libra to thank for that.
Trusting the science of CICO through MFP made me view weightloss as the basic biological/mathematical system that it really is. Reading all the amazing, inspirational Loseit stories made me determined and do some of my own self reflection. Tracking my weight through Libra (I think there's another one called happy scale?) Basically graphs my weight so even though my weight fluctuates day by day due to water weight, I can see the downward trend and that stops me from becoming discouraged when I randomly put on 5 pounds because of water retention.
It did not happen over night and there were so many failed attempts before now, not to mention all the mental non-starters which had me binge anxiety eating before I even began but I finally get it and I understand myself so much more and I'm pound. Anyway Sorry for rambling but I really hope this helps someone in some way, I wouldn't be here without Loseit. This community means so much to me.
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