I am losing about a pound and half a week, and have been since late February, just recording my calories and making good choices. My eating has had to change, I can't fit as many treats in as I used to, and I have had to learn how to eat so I'm not hangry at the end of the day.
I am starting to really like how I look, and I'm not embarrassed by my giant stomach anymore. I feel more sassy and attractive. I'm able to do so many more things and I'm not tired just walking around. I can even run now and consistently enough that I can work on lowering times instead of just trying to get through it. People have been very complementary and wowed by my progress.
I'm very happy to talk about what I am doing and the theory behind CICO, how I've changed my eating habits and all that. But I am embarrassed to tell them a number. I am embarrassed to tell them I've lost 70 pounds because that means I had 70 pounds to lose. 70 pounds of fat! And I'm not done yet. I for sure want to get to 180 and reevaluate there, because I am naturally very muscular and I don't know how I will be when I get there. That means that I will eventually lose 100 pounds if I hit my first goal. I thought saying I lost 100 pounds would feel awesome! But that actually sounds awful. 100 pounds of fat. I will still be overweight at 180 and I will have already lost that much weight.
I don't know why that is hitting me so hard. I felt pretty great saying I lost 60 pounds. But this is a threshold I have crossed, and I don't know how I can process this weird feeling.
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